…especially here, in the land of the pretzel, where a man of little means and less imagination can always find a twist of dough, sprinkled with salt, slather it in mustard and call it a meal. Pretzels are to Philadelphia what pizza is to New York and the po’boy is to New Orleans: that local treasure, common as air, which is just completely fucked up the minute it is carried outside the city limits by someone wanting to make a buck off regional nostalgia and the blind loyalty of expatriate souls. You ever tried to get a soft pretzel in Utah, Texas or Buffalo? I have. It didn’t go well at all.

Anyway, today actually is National Pretzel Day (in case you missed it, yesterday was National Zucchini Bread Day, tomorrow is National Prime Rib Day, and April also happens to be both National Grilled Cheese Month and National Soy Foods Awareness Month), and to celebrate, every single Philly Pretzel Factory is giving away a free soft pretzel to anyone who walks through the doors. No purchase necessary, no secret codes or handshakes. Just walk in and bam! Free pretzel for you. Locations can be found here, on the Philly Pretzel Factory website.