No, it is not some distant nebula as viewed through the Hubble Space Telescope. No, it is not a dried bonito flake from my okonomiyaki. And no, it is not the infamous testicular cyst removed from then Philly Mag editor Larry Platt (now of the Daily News). So what is it?

And you thought that red tomatoes were supposed to be red, silly. This glorious specimen (enlarged above, obviously) was pulled from a turkey-club-hold-the-bacon salad purchased today at Saladworks. Is there some rule we are unaware of that states that all salads must contain tomatoes, even when said tomatoes are out-of-season, gray, and taste like paper towels?

The unedited photo appears below.

[Photo: Grace Winter]